With basic bitch season in full swing, I can’t help but crave all pumpkin everything. Cozy candles, warm coffee, and my Aunt Joyce’s legendary pie — you name it, I’m about it. I mean, I even bought a pumpkin lotion to rub all over my body with the hopes some dude will smell it and […]
Ever since I was a mini mermaid, I’ve had a tiny obsession with spaghetti. No joke, it was the dinner of choice for all my childhood birthday parties. Every year I celebrated at The Spaghetti Factory slurpin’ up all that meaty goodness and getting drunk off Shirley Temples. Pasta makes my mini mermaid heart happy, […]
You know what I love the first thing in the morning? A big fatty bowl. Easyyyy my little ganja Mermaid, I don’t think we’re talking about the same kind of bowl here. But don’t feel bad, because the fatty bowl I’m talking about will complement your wake and bake session to perfection. All tokin’ jokin’ […]
Let’s talk balls. A tender mouthful of savory taste. Fitting perfectly in the palm of your hands, so all it takes is a smooth pop into your mouth whenever you’re ready to go. And have you ever tried putting chocolate on them? Now all this ball talk has my mouth-watering with a craving for more.
The Running Mermaid 