For the last five years the only relationship I’ve been in is with myself.
Sounds kind of sad, huh?
But what most people don’t know is, the reason for my
dry spell single girl status was because at the ripe age of 23 I wanted to learn how to love myself. I made the ballsy move to breakup with my first true love and set out on a little journey of self-discovery.
And you know what I discovered?
Loving yourself is a lot harder than Justin Bieber makes it out to be. It takes conscious effort and endless practice, along with the courage and strength to be alone. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone by doing things that may feel a little freaky and straight-up awkward, but your labor is always rewarded with a feeling of love, beating in your very own heart.
It doesn’t matter if you are single like me, or married with kids. Self-love is a key component to a flourishing life, because if you don’t know how to love yourself, how can you ever expect anyone else to love you the way you deserve?!
Here are 8 ways to help you step up your self-love game and learn to appreciate your true worth.
1. Send Yourself Flowers
Who says you need a man to buy you flowers?! A vase of fresh blooms have been proven to enhance emotional health by reducing anxiety and increasing energy. Pick up a fresh bouquet to add instant joy and comfort into your everyday life.
2. Rub One Out
I’ll take a vibrator over a fuck boy any day! Yeah, I’m going there. Masturbation is so taboo, but it’s pretty much the ultimate form of self-love. Not only does it help give you more confidence in your body, it relieves stress, improves sleep, and releases all kinds of feel good endorphins. So, dim the lights, hop into bed and get down on a little self exploration!
3. Take a Bubble Bath
Nothing makes me feel more relaxed and sexy than a good, ol’ bubble bath. Create an at home spa situation with fizzy bath bombs, sultry candles, mellow music and soak your body in a tub of self-love. Also, feel free to take your bubble game to the next level with a glass of bubbly. Cheers!
4. Wine and Dine Yourself
I know showing up to dinner as a party of 1 can be kind of intimidating, but when you overcome that initial fear you are filled with a strong sense of personal empowerment. I challenge you to ditch the phone and try to connect with the people around you, this will help open your eyes to the truth, you are never alone.
5. Become a Bad Bitch in the Kitch
And on those days when you really aren’t feeling a night out, there is always the option to stay in and get cooking in the kitchen. Putting time into a home cooked meal makes me feel as if I’m putting time into caring for myself. I love pouring up a glass of wine, turning on an epic playlist and getting my Emeril on like — BAM!
Sometimes you need to tell yourself just how incredible you really are! Keeping a journal of your most empowering thoughts will gift you the ability to feel love on those shitty days where all you need is a hug. Scribble down sentences about how proud you are of your efforts, how beautiful your are in your mind, and how badass you are at life!
7. Get Naked
Strutting your stuff in the buff has the power to bring you closer to your body. When you begin to get naked you will feel more confident in yourself and learn how to appreciate your body in a beautiful new way. I’m telling you, life is so much better without pants.
8. Accept Love
Giving love to yourself is the easy part, but learning how to accept it is where the real challenge lies. When you begin to embrace vulnerability and fully accept yourself for who you are, then the love will begin to flow freely within your life.
As I mentioned before, this practice is a lot easier said than done, but it’s so important to put in the work consciously and continuously. Mastering the art of self-love will open your eyes to the kind of love you truly deserve, making your heart refuse to settle for anything less — hence why I’m single.
(or at least that’s what I like to think.)
If you have a genuine passion that glows from within, you will be able to live a life as epic as you could ever imagine, because you love yourself enough to believe it is all possible for you!
Now I want to know, how do you practice self-love?
Comment below with different ways you love yo’ self and I’ll be sure to give it a go!
Because there is no such thing as too much love, am I right?!
xx Fins & Kisses,
I absolutely appreciate this as someone who has also been living the solo life for the past almost four years, and loving every bit if it! I’ve never lasted long in relationships and I too decided a journey to find myslef is what was necessary before giving another relationship a try. I find that there are a lot of social pressures to be with someone and that being alone is taboo, but I think it is an important part of life, really getting to know yourself. I found this to be extremely encouraging to see that a beautiful young woman like yourself shares this perspective. It’s all too easy to wonder if you’re single because you’re “not good enough” in whatever way as well and I believe that to be another important thing, to remind myself that I’d rather be on my own, independent and focusing on bettering myself than settling into a relationship that isn’t right or with someone who doesn’t love me for who I am.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read Jen! It’s so important to get to know yourself in order to live a life true to yourself, but like you mentioned, it’s almost taboo to be alone. Which is ironic because that says everything about others and nothing about you! Keep enjoying your single girl status because there is so much freedom, empowerment, and growth that comes with it. But what makes it even better is knowing the best is yet to come, so don’t settle for anything less!
I love finding a hobby and getting lost in it.
Amen! I LOVE being single!! (I also love relationships, I’m in an amazing one now) But the single times are when you learn who you are, what you want to be without any distraction. You become your own kind of awesome and you learn exactly what kind of crazy you need to run with yours!
ALSO, your writing is amazing, I love when I get the email notification about a new blog of yours!
Thank you for always reading sister and yes getting lost in a hobby is such a valuable way to spend your solo time! I feel like you really began to take you videos to the next level after your last relationship and pursuing that passion led to the one you are in today! Which seems to be a perfect match! I love it and I love you more! ❤